your name.
i wanted my own space, but now i have too much. too many cracks on my heart, where were we when i needed us to happen. i wanted to breathe, but now the oxygen betrays me, we all breathe alone. i needed to be lonely to understand the fear of not having you is more real than thunderstorms and breaking points. i needed someone, but i didn’t know that that someone would be you. years have gone, wrinkled souls— press the daisies well, this is how i’ll fade away. i wanted to know love, but i chose pain instead. did we choose wrong? did we know that we would kill ourselves years later just to find out the true meaning of living without one another? it’s much colder in summer even with the sun out, you used to be around, but now you’re a year round trip to nowhere. where did we go wrong? is this the end of the song? we used to watch each other from a distance, but now the distance watches us grow old without another chance. is this darkness? where is the light source? where were we when love hung itself? shaking away my worries, i should have held you with fury and bit my tongue a little more. patiently waiting delivered my patience to the sea, this is how i’ll drown. if this is death, where would we be if we chose to love— where would we be right now if i would’ve picked you years before? things i’ll always ponder on, my heart it’ll wander on. if this is lust and longing, where would we be my dear? where would we be? if another reality, in another path— a quiet road, in another place, at another time. you are still mine. i’m just fucked up because it took me this long to realize. it’s all messed up, baby, it’s all messed up. darling, i fucked up and now—
i’m missing you. so much so. forgive me.